byslantedlight ([info]byslantedlight) wrote in [info]discoveredinalj,
2006-12-22 00:22:00
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Prosfic - Perfect Alignment

At 0.22 GMT (the lads' time!) the northern hemisphere was tilted as far from the sun as it could be, and so the sun has now set in my tiny part of the Subarctic for 20 hours and 19 minutes straight. Also - it's snowing outside! So for this long, dark, cold night - Prosfic.

Perfect Alignment



Title: Perfect Alignment
Author: Slantedlight
Slash or Gen: Slash
Archive at ProsLib/Circuit/Hatstand: Certainly, if wanted!
Disclaimer: Bodie, Doyle and the CI5 universe do not belong to me, and I certainly don't make any money out of them. I'm just borrowing them to play. Good games.
Notes: Gorgeous graphic by [info]empty_mirrors, and many thanks also to her for betaing and general hand-holding!
Tags: mistletoe, slantedlight

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  • 49 comments

[info]bistokidsfan77

December 22 2006, 04:08:07 UTC 5 years ago

Gritty, interesting, poignant, encompassing, with a hint of sweetness that plays about the edges, like the aftertaste of chocolate.

Long nights agree with your fic writing ability, my child. Thank you for a wonderful story.

[info]byslantedlight

December 22 2006, 21:48:44 UTC 5 years ago

Well, shucks, thank you! I have to say, I quite like the idea of being chocolatey! (and also of being "my child", since there's one of those "big" birthday things coming up next year!)

[info]crimson_37

December 22 2006, 08:10:39 UTC 5 years ago

I realy enjoyed this. What a wondeful insight into their ealier days. I have to say my favourite part was them both hovering close over the radio, all excited at a job well done, waiting for the pat on the head and some long awaited praise from the Cow. I could so feel their almost 'smug' anticipation of their reward and picture the wide eyed expressions on their young faces held close saying 'here it comes, we're clever little boys' lol. Funny how life doesn't always go the way you forsee it...lol
I loved the moment they shared as the sun set too, so serene.

The ending was full of action of every sort, ;) and kept me on the edge of my seat throughout.
Thank you for sharing your wonderful story. :)

[info]byslantedlight

December 22 2006, 21:52:31 UTC 5 years ago

I'm sure I've seen them do that hovering-waiting-for-praise thing in the eps too, and of course Cowley's such a moody bugger when he's busy... *g* I am glad you liked it, thank you for saying so!

[info]eveningblue

5 years ago

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[info]byslantedlight

5 years ago

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[info]gilda_elise

December 22 2006, 14:31:42 UTC 5 years ago

Really wonderful story. I enjoyed it a lot. Just the right amount of action and plenty of wonderful moments between the lads, too. I like the idea of them getting together so soon, too.

[info]byslantedlight

December 22 2006, 21:54:09 UTC 5 years ago

I've got to admit I can never quite decide from the eps when I think they get together, but the fun thing about that is that I can play with all kinds of scenarios! I'm very glad you liked it - thank you!

[info]msmoat

December 22 2006, 14:55:24 UTC 5 years ago

I don't know, maybe panic is a good thing--this certainly worked for me! *g* I liked the mix of action/case and emotional/relationship. I liked that it focused on the younger lads, and connected every aspect of their relationship with their partnership. It's intriguing to think that their physical relationship would be so closely tied to their partnership--like the sex was an almost inevitable byproduct of the intensity between them. And then, when the sexual/emotional led to a disconnect, that affected their ability to do the job together. They're still learning what it is between them in this story, and that's fun to read.

I loved the scene at sunset and how they somehow ended up nearly melded together. *g* There was a stillness about them as they stood joined, a quiet, and a *rightness*. Yeah! Thank you!

[info]byslantedlight

December 22 2006, 21:59:16 UTC 5 years ago

I've got to admit, I think it'd be quite hard for them to keep the relationship and the job separate, if you write them as really passionate blokes. And considering how often they're off with this or that girl in the show, you've got to think that they're quite fond of sex... But that's the question I guess, too - what makes a good partnership, personal or business, friend or other? How close can you be to someone... Anyway, thank you, I'm glad it worked for you!

[info]shooting2kill

December 22 2006, 16:09:43 UTC 5 years ago

Really enjoyed this story for so many reasons and I'll list them, if that's OK:

As in all your stories, I love the clever way you use and manipulate words and phrases often taking them out of their usual context, like so:

In a whisper of footsteps and,

He frowned, and picked up the handset to call Cowley – instant cold water – and was patched through almost immediately

Other great lines:

"Scouser with the fascist hairdo?

"'Help, help, I'm being oppressed!'" Bodie responded instantly, and then he looked up sharply and grinned suddenly, all the way to his eyes. They'd seen that movie together.

And I loved the way you intrigued the reader with the state of their relationship – at first I wondered *what* it was and then, *where* it was going.... I liked the way you just gave out a few titbits of information at a time - I want to be kept guessing, not to have everything revealed at once. Love the tease of just two words: 'first time' - making me instantly sit up and think 'aha, so it's like that is it?' but still not certain *what* it's actually like - how could I be when Doyle doesn't know either?

His breath was soft too, quiet and even. He'd been like this that first time. No front, just… Bodie

Doyle had felt the electricity between them as soon as they met. It was there in every move they made, every glance they shared. And the way they knew, just knew what the other was thinking. It hadn't taken them two weeks to become the perfect team. Suddenly the world was more real, he was more alive – they were more alive. And as usual, just as he always did – see it, want it, have it. So he had.

Beautiful writing, against the beautiful background of the longest night, Stonehenge, the Solstice - very atmospheric.

And my poor old computer screen almost received yet another spray of projectiled coffee when I read this line:

"Bodie, why are your toenails painted red?"

Really enjoyed this, Slanted, thanks so much for sharing it.

[info]byslantedlight

December 22 2006, 22:11:46 UTC 5 years ago

Oh what fabulous feedback, thank you! And thank you for getting so much out of the fic, just what I was hoping people would! As for the red toenails... well... *g*

[info]shooting2kill

5 years ago

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[info]byslantedlight

5 years ago

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[info]ancastar

December 22 2006, 18:44:24 UTC 5 years ago

Oh, I love stories of their early days together! I liked the way you developed the supporting characters and established the mood and place. I also really appreciate the way you let me, the reader, discover the main conflict--that B & D have been intimate and that's why Doyle is looking for a reteam--as opposed to telling me so at the onset. I thought this was wonderful, like all your stories. I quite enjoyed my pressie. :-)

[info]byslantedlight

December 22 2006, 22:15:23 UTC 5 years ago

Hee - so glad you enjoyed! I've got to admit, I'm not big on the whole "explain-y" sort of scenario, at least as far as what they're thinking and doing is concerned... I like trying to write from slightly further inside the lads, if you know what I mean, so I'm extra glad when it seems to have worked! Thank you!

[info]probodie

December 22 2006, 21:36:28 UTC 5 years ago

Yum! Bloody good read that was. I love the Monty Python reference *giggles*, but my favourite part has to be this:

In the dark of the longest night of the year their bodies slid hard together, breath was gasped, and breath was sighed. There was skin, and sweat, and the heat of Bodie's mouth around him, and the feel of Bodie's cock against his own tongue, between his own lips. There was so much pleasure it was almost painful, but even the twist of teeth on his nipples, of a finger, of two, up his arse, was better than anything he'd ever thought possible.

Just sums it up perfectly.

[info]byslantedlight

December 22 2006, 22:16:40 UTC 5 years ago

Yes, I rather liked writing that part too... *g* Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it!

[info]eveningblue

December 22 2006, 22:08:47 UTC 5 years ago

This was a wonderful story! I loved so many things about it. Here are a few of them:

I loved how you started it off like a real episode, in Cowley's office getting the assignment. Actually, the whole thing was like an episode, except with sex. This is one of my favorite kind of stories, one that blends action and a case with their relationship/sex.

I liked how Doyle was jealous of Bodie's easy charm and magnetism--that seemed very true to character.

I LOVED that you gave us this story today, on the solstice. A solstice story for the solstice! Nice!

I liked the way you put us inside Doyle's head throughout, but especially here:

The sky was coming alive with colour now, pale blue fading to peach and pink, the horizon stained purple with the oncoming night. He looked about for the evening star, couldn't see it. Maybe it wasn't even supposed to be there at this time of year. It was all so far away, Doyle thought, so distant and pointless and unhelpful to the people rushing about on their own solid earth. It didn't matter where the sun rose and set every day, not when there were idiots with bombs down here, trying to kill and maim and cause each other endless pain...

I laughed aloud at this:

Bodie just smiled. "Now, now, where's all that Age of Aquarius bollocks you were spouting earlier, eh?"

There was one bit I didn't get, the part where Ray does something to the table in the caravan:

"Sure thing, was she?" Doyle asked, as doubtfully as he could, eying the table. He seemed to remember from somewhere… Refusing to listen to Bodie's mournful description of Rowena's assets, he slid his hands along one side, found the catch and…

"Et voila!" he announced, "La pied-à-terre!"

I didn't get what happened there, but maybe I'm just not familiar enough with these kind of vehicles.

Overall, a wonderful read. Thanks so much for it!

[info]byslantedlight

December 22 2006, 22:22:21 UTC 5 years ago

You're very welcome - thank you for commenting! *g*

Some caravans (not that I've ever had one meself, actually!) have a table that converts into a bed by sort of opening a catch and folding the whole thing out. Sounds like one of the most uncomfortable things in the world to me, so Doyle was teasing Bodie when he did it, and then presenting it to him in a sort of faux-pretentious way as his "home from home". I like imagining the look on Bodie's face when he realised he'd not only have to sleep in a caravan, but on a table... although of course being Bodie he got the bed in the end... and the bloke... *g*

Anonymous

December 22 2006, 22:22:33 UTC 5 years ago

Wow Slanted Light! This is a great read, you so know the power of words and have a great feeling and sensitivity for natural forces, as your user names suggests! I can feel the wind, shiver at the cold and feel the rain in your words. I also love what shooting2kill said above – using words out of the usual context – makes them gosh, so much more powerful! But on with the story! Loved it from the very first scene, all their words are so them, you have them all spot on!

"Sorry sir, was…" Bodie paused, raised his hands to straighten his tie, "… well, delayed."

I can see this so clearly!

"Ach Doyle, if I knew I would have said so!" Doyle could hear the frustration in Cowley's voice, could imagine his fist clenched white around the receiver.

I can hear this so clearly!

And I could go on but I would end up quoting the entire story here so I’d best stop!

Love B smacking D’s bottom, and the intrigue behind their relationship, felt very natural. I really like that it wasn’t spelt out for us but builds up a slowly evolving picture. It’s a keeper, this! *G*

Oh and can I just say I have high hopes that you will write a hugely long story next! Please say you have one on the cards for next year and I walk away an even happier lass…

MB x

[info]byslantedlight

December 22 2006, 22:29:51 UTC 5 years ago

Gosh, thank you very much! It's so nice to find out that people actually read what you were hoping they would! It makes me happy that it made you happy! As for a longer fic... well... actually... There might be a slightly (twice as...) longer one popping up in ditm at a later date... *g* (D'you know I used to be pleased to get a couple of thousand words, so I was kind of chuffed that this fic wouldn't even fit in an lj entry. I'm getting there!)

[info]shooting2kill

5 years ago

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[info]byslantedlight

5 years ago

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[info]blackmushroom

December 23 2006, 00:23:34 UTC 5 years ago

Wonderful story for a wonderful night. Winter solstice, cold, melancholic, lethargic, poetic... and so intense and full of life at the same time. Superb scenario. I love Ray’s thoughts and reactions and the way you let us discover the moment in their relationship. I’ve always imagined them getting together very soon: explosive sexual chemistry from the beginning. (I must confess feeling a bit upset at the beginning of your story: De Longford, the bad girl, member of the Animal Freedom Organization. But pleeeease we are good people! ;)
And yes! Bodie’s red toenails. Liked sex too, on such a cold night...
Thank you. Big warm hugs ;D

[info]byslantedlight

December 23 2006, 00:55:13 UTC 5 years ago

Well De Longford wasn't really a bad girl, she didn't know what she was getting mixed up in - she was just silly enough that it looked bad for her! But ack! I forgot to google AFO! I've changed it to "Animal Equality Organisation" cos that one doesn't come up on google. Although that doesn't mean there isn't one, but I've done the best I can! It was so hard to come up with a name for Mullan's group that hadn't already actually been used as well... Mullan's group was the only one that was supposed to be bad, the others were just De Longford being rebellious, cos her father was a Minister in the government... *g*

I'm glad you liked it though, and thanks for the lovely feedback *g* *hugs* back to you!

[info]blackmushroom

5 years ago

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[info]byslantedlight

5 years ago

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[info]callistosh65

December 23 2006, 08:13:24 UTC 5 years ago

Oh, this was lovely. The story was such fun! I loved the hippy vibe to it, or rather, "the Age of Aquarius bollocks" as Bodie so aptly calls it. *g* It made me very nostalgic for that part of my sevenites life in England.
I liked the way you played around with the early days of their partnership - Will they? Won't they? Have they? So many scenarios, so little time!
Like others, the still moment together at sunset is a standout. And I *love* the way you write a sex-scene. Dreamy, not so graphic, yet HOT, and totally convincing. That "together" moment, when they pause and Doyle realises what he feels? Wow. Just perfect.

Long may you stay in the dark if this is what it does to you..*g*

[info]byslantedlight

December 23 2006, 22:18:49 UTC 5 years ago

Okay, I'm not sure about that staying in the dark thing. Can we negotiate about that? How about I write the lads on holiday in France, lying about in the sun with wine and cheese? Oh no, bugger, I already did that, didn't I... um... Greece! Olives! The Acropolis! Wine! And clearly extensive research would be needed... *g*

I'm glad you thought the sex was okay (hee) - I worry that I'm getting a bit too dreamy with it... Thanks so much, I'm glad you liked it!

[info]izzie7

December 23 2006, 11:02:36 UTC 5 years ago

Beautiful writing - very vivid, easy to see as an episode, and great atmosphere. Like [info]callistosh65, it takes me back to the days when you could still walk among the stones, instead of viewing them from behind the wire.

I loved the tantalising hints you dropped about the start of their relationship, both professional and personal, and the action was great too.

[info]byslantedlight

December 23 2006, 22:23:49 UTC 5 years ago

Thank you!

I actually managed to get on one of those little tour-things, a few years ago now, where it's just you and about a dozen other people allowed by special permission into the stones at sunrise before all the tourist stuff opens, and it really does make a difference, doesn't it? It's so... Colditzed-up otherwise... Then the archaeologist-bit of me jumps in and thinks "just as well", then the two bits get into a punch up and I fall over... :s

[info]elizabethoshea

December 23 2006, 18:19:21 UTC 5 years ago

Well, this was worth rushing back to my computer for *g*. Lovely story (and I'm both awestruck and horribly jealous that you can write something so good so quickly - how?!). As others have said, I love the way you've mixed the romance in with a proper episode-like plot (not to mention some really fun incidental characters). And the way you keep us guessing about the fact that they've already had sex until well into the story. And the prickly, early-partnership relationship where it's still obvious to us (and occasionally to Doyle *g*) that they really can't help being in sync with each other even when they fight it. Well and - obviously *g* - the ending. Perfect alignment. Absolutely. Thank you!

[info]byslantedlight

December 23 2006, 22:30:31 UTC 5 years ago

Whee! Thank you very much, I'm so chuffed that you like it! Mind you, the time-thing probably wasn't quite as clear-cut. The writing-bit was "relatively" quick I guess, but I was trying to figure out what was going on in my head for weeks before that - and it only came together in that last week... and then there was the huge flatness panic, and I was re-writing etc right up to the last minute... But it did come together, so yeay!

[info]myrebelcat

December 23 2006, 21:49:46 UTC 5 years ago

Very good games indeed! Just a lovely story. A good mix of case and character stuff.

I really liked the subtlety of the scene in the caravan where Ray is leaning against the wall, licking his lips and completely oblivious about all the signals he's sending to Bodie. There was a nice tension there between them, and a gradual revelation of what it was all about.

I don't think you really resolved things in the end with regards to their relationship, but considering this seems to be early in their partnership, I think that's just right.

And your writing was wonderfully evocative, as well. Thank you!

[info]byslantedlight

December 23 2006, 22:35:38 UTC 5 years ago

No, they really didn't resolve anything at the end, did they, except for admitting that they do well together... And fancy the skin off each other *g* I'd watched Old Dog around the time that I was figuring all this out, and they still seemed so prickly and one-upman-y and so on, so somewhere in my head I didn't think they'd really settled down to anything by then - although there just seemed to be something between them... So I had fun playing with the something!

And thank you!

[info]moth2fic

December 28 2006, 14:12:11 UTC 5 years ago

Wonderful! I shall keep that one to re-read. The perfect solstice fic. I am so jealous - I write, but I never write Pros because I can't think of an episode. You do it so well, and I absolutely love fics that are like new episodes. Well, in my head they are new episodes. Thank you! :)
(especially for the toe nails!!! )

[info]byslantedlight

December 30 2006, 23:20:31 UTC 5 years ago

Thank you! So happy you liked it! I suppose I tend to think of the lads mostly from a relationship-y angle, but I quite like having some sort of "mission" as the background, just to give it all something to hang on... Gld it works for you! I've been bad this year about reading anything non-Pros at all, but one day I am going to go through your lj and read your stories, I promise... I just have to get my head out of the Pros-verse for a bit!

[info]moth2fic

5 years ago

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[info]byslantedlight

5 years ago

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[info]moth2fic

5 years ago

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[info]byslantedlight

5 years ago

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[info]moth2fic

5 years ago

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[info]byslantedlight

5 years ago

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[info]moth2fic

5 years ago

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[info]byslantedlight

5 years ago

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[info]moth2fic

5 years ago

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[info]caroveraline_x

December 28 2006, 22:49:34 UTC 5 years ago

I was absorbed and carried away in a caravan to Stonehenge tonight. Loved it. Loved Bodie's red toenails too! Thank you!

[info]byslantedlight

December 30 2006, 23:22:05 UTC 5 years ago

Thank you for saying so! (And I just loved the idea of Bodie having painted toenails under all that tough-guy exterior, and that while Doyle thought he was having it off in the caravans he was being teenage-girled to death... *g*)
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